A colleague and friend of
mine, a recognized expert in the field of healing the after effects of bullying
in adults, is coming to the States in April and will be joining me in leading
two – one day workshops. See below for
more details…
In preparation for Purim, I started thinking. How does bullying play into the story of Purim – (The book
of Esther)?
In the first Chapter, King Ahasuerus
bullies his then wife, Vashti, to come to him while he is drunk. He wants to
prove to all his friends, that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. He
wants recognition. He wants validation. He wants to prove his dominance. This
was not about her, nor his love for his wife, this was about showing off that
he could get whatever he wants (a princess), whenever he wanted. The fact that
she was in another room, entertaining her own guests, and probably busy, never
occurred to him. He wanted something and so he demanded it.
When she refuses, he becomes
angry and doesn’t know what to do with his emotions. Since twitter hadn’t been invented yet, he
reaches out to his friends and asks them what to do. They advise him to get rid
of her, and he puts her out like the trash.
Later, Haman offers to fill
his pockets with another one of his vices, MONEY. He refuses it, knowing that
once the people are gone, their money will be his anyway. All he had to do was bully an entire people
and kill them, or rather incite others to bully and kill them.
I see two major issues with
this story – One is that King Ahasuerus surrounds himself with advisors who are
bullies. His need for power and recognition runs so deep that he agrees to
banish his own wife, rather than feel the hurt or humiliation of what it takes
to be in a real relationship. Second, is
his overwhelming desire for money. He was already a vastly wealthy man, who
conquered many territories, but had an unquenchable desire for more.
Vashti is never heard from
again, but the Jewish people get the opportunity to turn the tables on their
oppressors. Not all victims of bullying get that chance. Nor am I suggesting
that revenge is the way out of pain and suffering. Rather, I pray that we not disappear like
Vashti, but come together and heal our wounds as a people, as a nation, as a
world.
Chag Somayach
Happy Purim
Chani
Announcing a new Workshop:
Bullying: Healing the Silent Aftermath
Two different days:
Saturday 4/22/17 - - - OR - - - Sunday 4/30/17
9:30am - 5:00 pm - Breakfast / Lunch and Snack provided
140 Prospect Ave - Suite #2 - Hackensack NJ
Space is limited:
