For the past three months I have been suffering
from post concussion syndrome. I look normal. I appear to be in good health and
yet the fatigue, headaches, and other symptoms intrude into my daily life and
make it impossible for me to live life as I usually do. Mundane tasks, like
sweeping, have become challenging due to what one of my doctors calls “brain fog”.
I have needed to adjust my entire life.
At work, I have started taking naps in the middle of the day. This
means scheduling a break in my busy schedule – stopping the clock and going to
sleep. No matter how much I want to
continue or how much I want to do just one more thing. I know that if I am to
be present to my afternoon clients, fully able to hold space for them, I need
to stop – close my eyes – and let my brain rest.
At home, I am doing far less too. Originally, I thought that all I
needed was silence, so that I could rest. As I figured out what my mind could
still do with relative ease, and what was a struggle. I sat down with my family
and explained that I needed them to all step up. Knowing that they too have
incredible busy lives, and understanding that for the house to function I need
them to do more. A wonderful thing happened – they ALL happily committed to
doing more so that I could do less.
I am learning important lessons from all of this. I am beginning to
understand that I need to set realistic goals for myself, meaning under
scheduling instead of over scheduling. I need to simply be, to be more of a
human being and less of a human doing machine. I am realizing that when I allow
myself to be vulnerable and ask for help, people step up. I am letting myself
do less. By far the hardest lesson I am grappling with is to be gentle with
myself, to identify my shortcomings and to lovingly navigate this journey. I thought I knew how to do this, but I am
learning a deeper path in gentleness and love to my physical and emotional
self.
As Rosh Hashanah approaches, I reflect on the past year, and begin thinking
of my goals for the New Year. I recognize that what I need is more gentleness.
Instead of making lists of what I need to DO this upcoming year, I am thinking
of how I want to BE this year. I bless us all to keep learning this lesson of
gentleness and vulnerability, without needing a blow to the head to do so.
A
Git Gebentchta In Gezinta Yar (Yiddish)
Happy, Healthy and Sweet New Year
Chani
Please join me as we explore together setting Realistic
Goals for this upcoming year.
Tuesday September 26th 2017
7:30pm – 9:00pm
COJAR @ The Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey
50 Eisenhower Drive
Paramus NJ 07652
I am sharing with you OWL - an online magazine where an article I wrote about the shofar and Rosh Hashanah is featured.
Feel free to subscribe to OWL - it is a free subscription.
Shana Tova U'metuka (Hebrew)
A git gebetchta in gezinta yur. (Yiddish)
Happy, Healthy and Sweet New Year
Chani
