2015 - 60 Second Miracle

http://yiddish.forward.com/articles/193502/people-of-interest-chani-getter-spiritual-counsel/

Gretchin Rubin writes in her book Happier at Home: I remind myself, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”(Cribbed from Voltaire.) A twenty-minute walk that I do is better than the four-mile run that I don’t do.  The imperfect book that gets published is better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer. The dinner party of take-out Chinese food is better than the elegant dinner that I never host.

I will add, the 1-minute of conscious breathing is better then the 30 minute meditation that I never sit for.

A healthy adult takes 12 – 20 breaths per minute. We breathe every day, every hour, every minute, every second.  Whether consciously or not, our bodies bring air into our lungs that sustains us and gives us life.

In this crazy busy and hectic life society has created, we often think that the only way to find our center is to meditate or run or do something for half an hour or more.  Since we don’t have that much time, we often spend our days, running from one thing to the other. We are as the hamster on its wheel, in constant motion but never moving forward.

However, all we need to do is to take one minute, wherever we may be, 60 seconds of conscious breathing to shift that feeling. Take a minute, use the timer on your phone, and breathe.  Notice your breath, notice your body, and without needing to change anything… breathe. You will see that simply from your connecting to what you are already doing (breathing), everything changes, ever so slightly in just one minute.

Click on this link to a Yiddish interview (with Englishsubtitles), where I discuss this phenomenon in a little more detail.

2015 - Where Has Thanks-Giving Gone?

This year more than ever before, I am noticing a disturbing phenomenon. We seem to have forgotten about Thanksgiving, store shelves are stacked for Christmas and Black Friday now starts on Thursday morning.

We misplaced our Thanksgiving tablecloth. After checking with everyone in the family we determined – it simply vanished.

I ran out to look for a suitable replacement - a nice fall-like tablecloth that could be used for both Sukkot and Thanksgiving. The stores we visited were filled with Christmas tablecloths, a few Chanukah patterns but NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING for Thanksgiving!

Besides being upset about not finding a tablecloth, I am saddened by what I am seeing. Thanksgiving, the most widely celebrated holiday in the United States, the day in which we take a moment as a nation to give thanks for the many blessings we have. The one holiday where we come together with family and friends and sit down for a meal, one that is not connected to any religious, spiritual, or political beliefs, with no pressure to exchange gifts – is vanishing.

The extent of this phenomenon is even more visible now that stores are opening their doors for shopping ON Thanksgiving. Making Thanksgiving seem as just a delay to the start of Black Friday deals.

What would happen if we as a society openly stood up against this?

If we didn’t go shopping on Thanksgiving?  

If we still took this time to show our gratitude?

To sit with family and friends and be grateful – to the God of our understanding or to life in general?

To notice the plethora we have and be thankful for it?

To let go of the commercialism and the craze of what comes next?

And to sit in what is now, THANKS - GIVING and be grateful?

This morning my partner and I went for a walk and gathered beautiful fall leaves. We then had our 5-year-old adopted grandchild place red, yellow, green and brown leaves under each glass plate on the table. We are using a tablecloth we inherited from my friend’s mother.  It is absolutely beautiful! I am thankful we had the opportunity to look at what nature provided us and be grateful for it. We chose gratitude for what we already have over the impulse to buy yet another item.

I bless us all with a wonderful Thanksgiving, one that is filled with gratitude – for nature, for family present and far with a return to simplicity and a rejection of the over commercialization of life; and the ability to see opportunities for gratitude in every potential crisis.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Chani

                                      www.chanigetter.com

2015 - Leaning Into Discomfort

Dear Friends, 

Life is a constant series of changes, and some times when I change, I notice this uncomfortable feeling and sometimes that feeling overwhelms me. Every time I step more and more into my power, into who I am meant to be, into what is next for me, I feel embarrassed and awkward.

It is difficult enough when I feel it, what makes almost unbearable is sharing it with others. It feels so vulnerable, as if I am standing naked, stripped of defenses.

Sometimes in 2014, I realized that once again, My website was out of date and that I needed to update it.  This happens every few years. Websites, like clothing or hairstyles, go out of style and need to be revised. In addition, I change and so the content of my website needs to be updated along with me.

The journey began, I knew that I needed a full overhaul, that I would need to create something from scratch, but I wasn't ready to let go of the one that I had build in 2010. It had taken so much work, so much effort.  How was I just going to delete the entire thing?

Knowing myself, I began to change things slowly, first I updated the website that I had. I changed the home page then I changed the contact me page.  I realized it needed more. I began to change some of the content. 

I hired someone who had marketing skills. she helped me hone in on what I do, what I bring to the world, what I love about my work, and how to bring my message forth.  Then I enlisted someone who had graphic design skills and an amazing way with words. Together we created what everyone can now see as my website.

My goal was two fold. One, I wanted to have a website that was easy to read, and had enough information that individuals, families or organizations who want my services could easily navigate. Two, I wanted it to be beautiful.  After all, life is beautiful and I am a little vain. Beauty speaks to me. I was hoping it would speak to others as well.

There is a part of me that wants to let this change, my website going live, happen and not tell anyone about it. I don't want to talk about the hard work I put in, the months that we worked on it, the thought, and energy that consumed so much of my past few months, because I know the uncomfortable feeling may overwhelm me. I want to pretend that my website always looked the way that it does now. This way, no one will give me feedback, no one will say "Why'd you change it?  I liked the old one better!"  and more importantly no one will criticize it.

However, I stand for honesty and living my truth and stepping courageously into the uncomfortable places in our lives. 

I wonder:
What makes you uncomfortable?
How do you deal with it?

Marketing experts tell me that I need to be online - that I need to have a presence and so here I am.

My new website is live - please check it out www.chanigetter.com
My newsletter is now a blogpost - subscribe to it if you feel so moved http://chanigetter.blogspot.com

I have a YouTube channel where I am beginning to upload workshops and speeches. It is not fully there, and I haven't been very good at taping myself, but I have a few things up already and more will follow  https://www.youtube.com/c/ChaniGetter

Feel free to like my Facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/chanigetterinc

And if you are on Twitter, please follow me https://twitter.com/ChaniGetter or @Chanigetter

I promise, I'll keep growing and changing and stepping into the uncomfortable places, and maybe, just maybe I'll get better at it. 

Blessings
Chani

2015 - What If We Took Responsibility?

In Genesis Chapter 3-9: And the Lord, God called to the person, And said to him, “Where are you?” 10: And he said, “I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, and I hid.” 11; and God said: “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you not to eat?” 12: And the man said “The woman whom you gave to me, she gave me of the tree and I ate.” 13: and the Lord, God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” And the woman said “The serpent beguiled me, and I ate.”
Genesis Chapter 2-8: And Cain Spoke unto Abel his brother. And it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and he killed him. 9: And God said to Cain: “Where is Abel your brother?” and he said; “I don’t know; Am I my brother’s keeper?”

There are so many commentaries on these verses, humans have dissected these passages and brought meaning to them for centuries.

What strikes me more than anything this year as I read these passages is the inability for anyone in this story to take even an ounce of responsibility.
Adam blames God – the woman that you gave me.
And he blames his wife – she gave it to me.
Eve blames the serpent – the serpent beguiled me...
Cain pretends that he doesn’t even know where his brother is.
Cain takes even less responsibility by not so much as acknowledging that any wrong was done.

I wonder, what would have happened if when God asked Adam, "Ayeka – Where are you?" Adam had answered:
I am hiding. Hiding because I ate from the tree of knowledge and the knowledge that I gained allowed me to see that I am naked. And now I am ashamed of my nakedness.  This knowledge that I have gained has allowed me to see, see in a way that now my nakedness is shameful. I am so sorry. Now I will have to live with this knowledge … this shame… this knowing..  Now I need to live with the consequences of my actions.

What would have happened then?

I wonder what would have happened if when God asked Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" Cain had answered:
Oh my goodness!!! I am bereft with grief… I killed my brother! I killed my friend! In a moment of anger and hostility, in a moment of complete rage and selfishness, I struck my brother, and now I miss him terribly. Now my heart aches... And nothing I do will get him back.  It hurts so much…  Now I need to live with myself and the reality of what I have done, and this pain in my heart that will never go away.

What would have happened then?

We live in a society that penalizes us for our wrongdoings. And one can often get away with a less severe punishment by denying any wrong-doing .

A few years ago, I volunteered for an organization that is committed to Restorative Justice.  What I noticed was the incredible transformation of individuals when they took full responsibility for the crimes they had committed. There is an understanding—almost a breaking internally—when they grasp the gravity of what it means to take a life. They change, not the pseudo change that is expected of them. No, they change so totally and become committed to creating a better world. They choose to spend their time and energy to create a world where violence no longer exists.

What would it be like if we took full responsibility for our actions???
If we looked ourselves in the eye and asked ourselves:
How did I end up here?
What have I done in my life that created the circumstances that got me where I am right now?  The good, the bad, the ugly, the pain and the joy.
How am I responsible for this situation?

What would the world look like if we stepped fully into living in the consequences of the actions we took to create our reality?

2015 - Holy Chutzpah - A Yom Kippur Reflection

Holy Chutzpah - A Yom Kippur Reflection

“So I told God that I need a job, I need one right after the High Holidays, because I really can’t stay where I am much longer, and I need God to just send it to me. With all the High Holidays, I just don’t have the time to update my resume or even send it out. “  

This was my mother last year a week before Rosh Hashanah. She was fed up of working in an organization that she felt was taking advantage of her.  

There was a part of me that marveled at her faith, yet there was a deeper knowing that my mother would be able to manifest this incredible job without sending out a single resume. 

True to her request a few days after Simchat Torah, the last of the High Holidays, she got a call from a young man, the son of a friend of my dad’s. He was looking for someone to work for him and was wondering if my mother was open to meeting him for an interview. 

My mom doesn’t drive so this young man came to pick her up for the interview. My mom asked for a job, she asked for one right after the High Holidays, she explained that she didn’t have the time to search for one herself. She explained cleaning, cooking, and preparing for the holidays fatigued her. And here it was—exactly what she had asked for. She loves this new boss.

Whenever I think of this story, I am reminded of what the Rabbis call Holy Chutzpah. My mother has that in spades! 

She asks for what she needs and trusts it to manifest. She never worries about how God will make it happen, just that S/He will. 

Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Bardishev once stood up in front of the entire congregation and began to sing this song.

God, I want to make a trade with you,

A Trade I would like to make….

I will give you Chataim, Pshaim, Avonot (Sins, Iniquities, Crimes,)

And you will give me Slicha, Mechila Kaporah(Forgiveness, Amends, Atonement)

You think this will be an even trade.

No I tell you.

You will add Children, Sustenance and Life

If you will ask me what Children are, I will tell you.

Children are “Children and Grandchildren who are committed to a spiritual life”

If you will ask me what Sustenance is, I will tell you

Sustenance is “we will eat, and be full and we will thank you”

If you will ask me what Life is, I will tell you.

Life is “A life in which we can praise and bless you”

The last line of the song leads into the incredibly beautiful Yom Kippur Kaddish. Is a haunting and beautiful Yiddish song that touches me very deeply.

I find that even more poignant then the stunning tune is the Holy Chutzpah of Reb Levi Yitzchok.

Not only does he ask God for a trade.

Not only does he explain to the Divine that this trade is not an even trade, but he has the audacity to then outline exactly what it is that he wants…in specifics.

What are you craving?

What do you most long to reveal about yourself this coming year?

What is the hunger in your soul?

What would you dare to ask if you had the Holy Chutzpah of the Bardishever Rebbe (and my daring mother)?

I bless us all; as we enter this Yom Kippur, to not only ask for what we want—but to demand it, with specifics. Even if the requests sounds feels to large, and hopefully we will be blessed with a year in which all of our deepest yearnings are manifested.

2015 - Letting Go - A Rosh Hashanah Reflection

2015 - Letting Go - A Rosh Hashanah Reflection

Autumn inevitably brings with it Rosh Hashanah. Or is it that Rosh Hashanah invites the fall?

I walk to the train and notice leaves on the ground , not many, but the trees are beginning to shed their leaves as fall creeps into our life. 

The nights are getting cooler and it is with excitement that I sleep with open windows as the breeze invites me to slumber.

What is the connection between Rosh Hashanah and fall? What does nature model for us at this time of year?

In October 2011, a nor’easter passed through our area dumping inches of unexpected snow. The snow damaged many trees.  Old trees that had survived many winters lost their branches. They snapped like twigs under the weight of the snow that clung to each leaf that remained on the tree. That is when it dawned on me that the trees casting off their leaves in the autumn breeze is self preservation.  It is because of this that they are able to preserve themselves through he harsh winter, and blossom and grow again in the spring.

Rosh Hashana signifies the Jewish New Year, but more then that, it allows us to take a moment, to pause, to reflect, and review the past year and notice the changes we made. To look back and reflect, to notice what worked for us and what no longer will, if we are to grow.

There is a newness in the northern hemisphere as summer gets stored away and the new school year begins. Kids sharpen their pencils, buy new notebooks and wait with anticipation the beginning of a new school year. 

I have noticed that within a few days, the older kids feel exhausted and even overwhelmed as they take one class after another. But that first day, as they pack up their bags, there is a flurry of excitement, of newness, of possibility. How can we hold onto that feeling of possibility and not get overwhelmed by the day to day?

What do we need to let go of in order to preserve our enthusiasm?

What expectations are we ready to discard so that we can sustain hope?

What beliefs need to be shed to make room for our core to grow and blossom?

What are we ready to cast away? 

As we enter Rosh Hashanah this year, I bless us all to take a moment, to allow ourselves to be students of nature. To notice the leaves changing colors, to take in the sight of the trees shedding what they no longer need, and to follow their example allowing ourselves the gift of room to grow.

2015 - Make Each and Every Moment COUNT - A Shavout Reflection

Make Each and Every Moment COUNT! A Shavuot Reflection:  “And you shall count onto you from the morrow after the day of rest, for the day that brought the sheaf of the waving, seven weeks shall there be complete. Even onto the morrow after the seventh week shall you number 50 days, and you shall present a new meal offering unto the Lord.” Leviticus 23:14-15  We are commanded to count 7 weeks, or 49 days until the 50th day. Rabbinic Judaism has established this counting, known also as the “Sefirat Haomer” to be in effect from the second day of Passover until Shavuot, and that the 50th day is Shavuot, the festival which commemorates the receiving of the Torah at Mount Sinai. These past few weeks my family and I have counted every day. We began: “Today is the first day of the omer.” “Today is the second day of the omer” … “Today is the 9th day, which is 1 week and 2 days of the omer” … “Today is the 41st day, which is 5 weeks and 6 days of the omer” And tonight – Friday night - we will count: “Today is the 49th day which is 7 weeks of the omer.”  For me, to do something every night requires discipline and commitment, to do something every night requires that I remember; and this is nearly impossible, even with reminders on my cell phone, unless I have others to remind me.  We, as a family, reminded each other, every day – First, every day “Sefirah (Counting)” would be the text message, and if I was in the middle of doing something or if I simply forgot, when I got home there was a gentle reminder; “did you count?” And then we as a family, or some of us at one moment and a few others at another moment would sing the blessing in this beautiful melody I grew up with: “Baruch Ata adonai. Elohaynu melech haolem asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al sefirat Ha’omer." “Blessed are you God, Spirit of all that is, that has sanctified us with your comandments and commanded us to count the omer.” Today is… Sefirah means counting, and I have been reflecting a lot about counting for all these past 7 weeks. Can I make every moment count? Can I make every hour count? Can I make every day? Week? Month? Year?  Our minutes turn into hours then into days, weeks and months and before we know it years… where are they going? What are we doing with them? How do we make them count?  I can go into a longer discussion about the Sefirah – the same Hebrew word for counting is also used to explain the emanation of God in the mystical Tree of Life. However, for this year, and for this moment, perhaps simply counting is enough.  “What” we are actually doing with our time matters little in the big picture; rather it is so much more important to notice the moments… Taking the time to stop - to pause - to count - to simply be in the moment is what makes the moments of our lives really count.   So for just a moment now, would you indulge me and take a deep inhale, a deep exhale… and breathe… Notice where you are, notice your surroundings and then, count your blessings in this moment. I am blessed with a family that reminds me to count. What are you blessed with? Chag Somayach Shavuot Tov A Git Yom Tov Chani