2016 - Breathing Time: Necessity or Optional

I overdid it.
I really overdid it!!

How else do I explain my body shutting down?

I was working at a pace that just wasn’t healthy for me, and I knew it.

Over a month ago in clinical supervision I was told that if I kept this up, I would get sick.  His exact words were, “Chani you need to take a break from work. You need to schedule some time for yourself, away from Footsteps, away from your private practice, away from family... Just you! Your body will give up, no one can maintain this pace of pressure and responsibilities.”

I used to be great at taking time off. As a single mom, I would make time to go away for a weekend every three months. Now however, I am in a relationship with kids in the house. We have found a way to create time for us as a couple and nurture our relationship.  But time for me—alone time—is something I struggle with.

I am the queen of helping others set aside time to get away from their life, to rejuvenate and create space. Afterwards, my clients thank me for encouraging them to do it. Together we look at their schedule and create pockets of time that is just for them.

I know that I all have to do it carve time out, create it, block it off in my calendar and most of all give myself permission to do this.

 I didn’t do it.  And my body reacted.

I am lucky like that. After years of teaching myself to take time when I need it, my body now protests if I don’t.  And if I keep going it stops working.  It forces me to stop. I was in bed with fever for 4 days!

My life had to stop –

My emails and texts had to go unanswered.

Client sessions cancelled.

House and home not cleaned.

I simply stopped.

I look at myself with shame and guilt.

I knew what I needed to do, but didn’t do it.

I knew that I was working too hard, taking on too much, and not making time for me.

Had I done what I knew I needed to do, had I set aside time to stop, to breathe, to recuperate; I have a very strong suspicion that I would not be laid up in bed for 4 days with a fever cursing through my veins.

So I am taking that time now.  I am going away for the weekend—just me.

I am going to spend time with nature. Hiking through trees and stones, and stopping to admire the sea. Nature is the beauty of creation that is here for all of us to enjoy.  The energy that makes me forget the everyday grunge of life, and connects me with the source of life.

What revitalizes you?

What invigorates your soul?

What does it take for you to stop?

How can you give yourself breathing room before it is forced upon you?

SAVE THE DATES:

6/24/16- Tehom: Deepening our Prayers:
A Renewal Friday night service at the Fair Lawn Jewish Center

Fair Lawn, NJ

1/15/17—Coming  of Age – How to create rituals for Coming of Age  - One Spirit Learning Alliance, NYC

2/17/17—President’s Weekend –

Nehirim Women’s Retreat, An LGBTQ Spiritual Shabbaton – Forgiveness, What’s in it for me?

Pearlstone Retreat Center: Maryland