2015 - Leaning Into Discomfort

Dear Friends, 

Life is a constant series of changes, and some times when I change, I notice this uncomfortable feeling and sometimes that feeling overwhelms me. Every time I step more and more into my power, into who I am meant to be, into what is next for me, I feel embarrassed and awkward.

It is difficult enough when I feel it, what makes almost unbearable is sharing it with others. It feels so vulnerable, as if I am standing naked, stripped of defenses.

Sometimes in 2014, I realized that once again, My website was out of date and that I needed to update it.  This happens every few years. Websites, like clothing or hairstyles, go out of style and need to be revised. In addition, I change and so the content of my website needs to be updated along with me.

The journey began, I knew that I needed a full overhaul, that I would need to create something from scratch, but I wasn't ready to let go of the one that I had build in 2010. It had taken so much work, so much effort.  How was I just going to delete the entire thing?

Knowing myself, I began to change things slowly, first I updated the website that I had. I changed the home page then I changed the contact me page.  I realized it needed more. I began to change some of the content. 

I hired someone who had marketing skills. she helped me hone in on what I do, what I bring to the world, what I love about my work, and how to bring my message forth.  Then I enlisted someone who had graphic design skills and an amazing way with words. Together we created what everyone can now see as my website.

My goal was two fold. One, I wanted to have a website that was easy to read, and had enough information that individuals, families or organizations who want my services could easily navigate. Two, I wanted it to be beautiful.  After all, life is beautiful and I am a little vain. Beauty speaks to me. I was hoping it would speak to others as well.

There is a part of me that wants to let this change, my website going live, happen and not tell anyone about it. I don't want to talk about the hard work I put in, the months that we worked on it, the thought, and energy that consumed so much of my past few months, because I know the uncomfortable feeling may overwhelm me. I want to pretend that my website always looked the way that it does now. This way, no one will give me feedback, no one will say "Why'd you change it?  I liked the old one better!"  and more importantly no one will criticize it.

However, I stand for honesty and living my truth and stepping courageously into the uncomfortable places in our lives. 

I wonder:
What makes you uncomfortable?
How do you deal with it?

Marketing experts tell me that I need to be online - that I need to have a presence and so here I am.

My new website is live - please check it out www.chanigetter.com
My newsletter is now a blogpost - subscribe to it if you feel so moved http://chanigetter.blogspot.com

I have a YouTube channel where I am beginning to upload workshops and speeches. It is not fully there, and I haven't been very good at taping myself, but I have a few things up already and more will follow  https://www.youtube.com/c/ChaniGetter

Feel free to like my Facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/chanigetterinc

And if you are on Twitter, please follow me https://twitter.com/ChaniGetter or @Chanigetter

I promise, I'll keep growing and changing and stepping into the uncomfortable places, and maybe, just maybe I'll get better at it. 

Blessings
Chani

2015 - What If We Took Responsibility?

In Genesis Chapter 3-9: And the Lord, God called to the person, And said to him, “Where are you?” 10: And he said, “I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, and I hid.” 11; and God said: “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you not to eat?” 12: And the man said “The woman whom you gave to me, she gave me of the tree and I ate.” 13: and the Lord, God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” And the woman said “The serpent beguiled me, and I ate.”
Genesis Chapter 2-8: And Cain Spoke unto Abel his brother. And it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and he killed him. 9: And God said to Cain: “Where is Abel your brother?” and he said; “I don’t know; Am I my brother’s keeper?”

There are so many commentaries on these verses, humans have dissected these passages and brought meaning to them for centuries.

What strikes me more than anything this year as I read these passages is the inability for anyone in this story to take even an ounce of responsibility.
Adam blames God – the woman that you gave me.
And he blames his wife – she gave it to me.
Eve blames the serpent – the serpent beguiled me...
Cain pretends that he doesn’t even know where his brother is.
Cain takes even less responsibility by not so much as acknowledging that any wrong was done.

I wonder, what would have happened if when God asked Adam, "Ayeka – Where are you?" Adam had answered:
I am hiding. Hiding because I ate from the tree of knowledge and the knowledge that I gained allowed me to see that I am naked. And now I am ashamed of my nakedness.  This knowledge that I have gained has allowed me to see, see in a way that now my nakedness is shameful. I am so sorry. Now I will have to live with this knowledge … this shame… this knowing..  Now I need to live with the consequences of my actions.

What would have happened then?

I wonder what would have happened if when God asked Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" Cain had answered:
Oh my goodness!!! I am bereft with grief… I killed my brother! I killed my friend! In a moment of anger and hostility, in a moment of complete rage and selfishness, I struck my brother, and now I miss him terribly. Now my heart aches... And nothing I do will get him back.  It hurts so much…  Now I need to live with myself and the reality of what I have done, and this pain in my heart that will never go away.

What would have happened then?

We live in a society that penalizes us for our wrongdoings. And one can often get away with a less severe punishment by denying any wrong-doing .

A few years ago, I volunteered for an organization that is committed to Restorative Justice.  What I noticed was the incredible transformation of individuals when they took full responsibility for the crimes they had committed. There is an understanding—almost a breaking internally—when they grasp the gravity of what it means to take a life. They change, not the pseudo change that is expected of them. No, they change so totally and become committed to creating a better world. They choose to spend their time and energy to create a world where violence no longer exists.

What would it be like if we took full responsibility for our actions???
If we looked ourselves in the eye and asked ourselves:
How did I end up here?
What have I done in my life that created the circumstances that got me where I am right now?  The good, the bad, the ugly, the pain and the joy.
How am I responsible for this situation?

What would the world look like if we stepped fully into living in the consequences of the actions we took to create our reality?

2015 - Holy Chutzpah - A Yom Kippur Reflection

Holy Chutzpah - A Yom Kippur Reflection

“So I told God that I need a job, I need one right after the High Holidays, because I really can’t stay where I am much longer, and I need God to just send it to me. With all the High Holidays, I just don’t have the time to update my resume or even send it out. “  

This was my mother last year a week before Rosh Hashanah. She was fed up of working in an organization that she felt was taking advantage of her.  

There was a part of me that marveled at her faith, yet there was a deeper knowing that my mother would be able to manifest this incredible job without sending out a single resume. 

True to her request a few days after Simchat Torah, the last of the High Holidays, she got a call from a young man, the son of a friend of my dad’s. He was looking for someone to work for him and was wondering if my mother was open to meeting him for an interview. 

My mom doesn’t drive so this young man came to pick her up for the interview. My mom asked for a job, she asked for one right after the High Holidays, she explained that she didn’t have the time to search for one herself. She explained cleaning, cooking, and preparing for the holidays fatigued her. And here it was—exactly what she had asked for. She loves this new boss.

Whenever I think of this story, I am reminded of what the Rabbis call Holy Chutzpah. My mother has that in spades! 

She asks for what she needs and trusts it to manifest. She never worries about how God will make it happen, just that S/He will. 

Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Bardishev once stood up in front of the entire congregation and began to sing this song.

God, I want to make a trade with you,

A Trade I would like to make….

I will give you Chataim, Pshaim, Avonot (Sins, Iniquities, Crimes,)

And you will give me Slicha, Mechila Kaporah(Forgiveness, Amends, Atonement)

You think this will be an even trade.

No I tell you.

You will add Children, Sustenance and Life

If you will ask me what Children are, I will tell you.

Children are “Children and Grandchildren who are committed to a spiritual life”

If you will ask me what Sustenance is, I will tell you

Sustenance is “we will eat, and be full and we will thank you”

If you will ask me what Life is, I will tell you.

Life is “A life in which we can praise and bless you”

The last line of the song leads into the incredibly beautiful Yom Kippur Kaddish. Is a haunting and beautiful Yiddish song that touches me very deeply.

I find that even more poignant then the stunning tune is the Holy Chutzpah of Reb Levi Yitzchok.

Not only does he ask God for a trade.

Not only does he explain to the Divine that this trade is not an even trade, but he has the audacity to then outline exactly what it is that he wants…in specifics.

What are you craving?

What do you most long to reveal about yourself this coming year?

What is the hunger in your soul?

What would you dare to ask if you had the Holy Chutzpah of the Bardishever Rebbe (and my daring mother)?

I bless us all; as we enter this Yom Kippur, to not only ask for what we want—but to demand it, with specifics. Even if the requests sounds feels to large, and hopefully we will be blessed with a year in which all of our deepest yearnings are manifested.

2015 - Letting Go - A Rosh Hashanah Reflection

2015 - Letting Go - A Rosh Hashanah Reflection

Autumn inevitably brings with it Rosh Hashanah. Or is it that Rosh Hashanah invites the fall?

I walk to the train and notice leaves on the ground , not many, but the trees are beginning to shed their leaves as fall creeps into our life. 

The nights are getting cooler and it is with excitement that I sleep with open windows as the breeze invites me to slumber.

What is the connection between Rosh Hashanah and fall? What does nature model for us at this time of year?

In October 2011, a nor’easter passed through our area dumping inches of unexpected snow. The snow damaged many trees.  Old trees that had survived many winters lost their branches. They snapped like twigs under the weight of the snow that clung to each leaf that remained on the tree. That is when it dawned on me that the trees casting off their leaves in the autumn breeze is self preservation.  It is because of this that they are able to preserve themselves through he harsh winter, and blossom and grow again in the spring.

Rosh Hashana signifies the Jewish New Year, but more then that, it allows us to take a moment, to pause, to reflect, and review the past year and notice the changes we made. To look back and reflect, to notice what worked for us and what no longer will, if we are to grow.

There is a newness in the northern hemisphere as summer gets stored away and the new school year begins. Kids sharpen their pencils, buy new notebooks and wait with anticipation the beginning of a new school year. 

I have noticed that within a few days, the older kids feel exhausted and even overwhelmed as they take one class after another. But that first day, as they pack up their bags, there is a flurry of excitement, of newness, of possibility. How can we hold onto that feeling of possibility and not get overwhelmed by the day to day?

What do we need to let go of in order to preserve our enthusiasm?

What expectations are we ready to discard so that we can sustain hope?

What beliefs need to be shed to make room for our core to grow and blossom?

What are we ready to cast away? 

As we enter Rosh Hashanah this year, I bless us all to take a moment, to allow ourselves to be students of nature. To notice the leaves changing colors, to take in the sight of the trees shedding what they no longer need, and to follow their example allowing ourselves the gift of room to grow.

2015 - Make Each and Every Moment COUNT - A Shavout Reflection

Make Each and Every Moment COUNT! A Shavuot Reflection:  “And you shall count onto you from the morrow after the day of rest, for the day that brought the sheaf of the waving, seven weeks shall there be complete. Even onto the morrow after the seventh week shall you number 50 days, and you shall present a new meal offering unto the Lord.” Leviticus 23:14-15  We are commanded to count 7 weeks, or 49 days until the 50th day. Rabbinic Judaism has established this counting, known also as the “Sefirat Haomer” to be in effect from the second day of Passover until Shavuot, and that the 50th day is Shavuot, the festival which commemorates the receiving of the Torah at Mount Sinai. These past few weeks my family and I have counted every day. We began: “Today is the first day of the omer.” “Today is the second day of the omer” … “Today is the 9th day, which is 1 week and 2 days of the omer” … “Today is the 41st day, which is 5 weeks and 6 days of the omer” And tonight – Friday night - we will count: “Today is the 49th day which is 7 weeks of the omer.”  For me, to do something every night requires discipline and commitment, to do something every night requires that I remember; and this is nearly impossible, even with reminders on my cell phone, unless I have others to remind me.  We, as a family, reminded each other, every day – First, every day “Sefirah (Counting)” would be the text message, and if I was in the middle of doing something or if I simply forgot, when I got home there was a gentle reminder; “did you count?” And then we as a family, or some of us at one moment and a few others at another moment would sing the blessing in this beautiful melody I grew up with: “Baruch Ata adonai. Elohaynu melech haolem asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al sefirat Ha’omer." “Blessed are you God, Spirit of all that is, that has sanctified us with your comandments and commanded us to count the omer.” Today is… Sefirah means counting, and I have been reflecting a lot about counting for all these past 7 weeks. Can I make every moment count? Can I make every hour count? Can I make every day? Week? Month? Year?  Our minutes turn into hours then into days, weeks and months and before we know it years… where are they going? What are we doing with them? How do we make them count?  I can go into a longer discussion about the Sefirah – the same Hebrew word for counting is also used to explain the emanation of God in the mystical Tree of Life. However, for this year, and for this moment, perhaps simply counting is enough.  “What” we are actually doing with our time matters little in the big picture; rather it is so much more important to notice the moments… Taking the time to stop - to pause - to count - to simply be in the moment is what makes the moments of our lives really count.   So for just a moment now, would you indulge me and take a deep inhale, a deep exhale… and breathe… Notice where you are, notice your surroundings and then, count your blessings in this moment. I am blessed with a family that reminds me to count. What are you blessed with? Chag Somayach Shavuot Tov A Git Yom Tov Chani

2014 - What is Freedom? - A Passover Reflection

"What is Freedom?" - A Passover Reflection

 The Rabbis teach us that every year when we sit down at the Passover Seder we need to take a moment and allow ourselves to feel as if we ourselves have come directly out of Mitzrayim, which is the Hebrew for Egypt, as if we ourselves have escaped from  “the narrow place,” and that we have stepped into FREEDOM.  This begs the question, "what is freedom?"

Is freedom being the young adult with a house, children, spouse, and decent job, or is it being the single person who lives in a studio apartment, with no car payment and very little to clean?

 Is freedom being the CEO of a Fortune 500 Company with over one hundredemployees and stockbrokers to answer to, or, is it being the homeless person in the street that has nothing to lose.

 The Rabbis tell us that when the Israelites left Egypt, they left with tremendous wealth. They took everything of value that they could carry. For some, this meant gold and silver, and for others it was a musical instrument. Was entering the Promised Land with all of this wealth an indication of their freedom? Or, was entering an empty dessert with just the clothes on their back, living like nomads, a way to have been truly free?

                         What is freedom?                                         What is slavery?

 More and more, I am coming to realize that everything worth having in liferequires time, resources, or work. Is this requirement a sort of slavery? We become enslaved by the responsibilities which accompany the things we wish for: when it isliving in a bigger home, we must do more cleaning and maintenance and have greater bills; when it is being in conscious relationship, we must always be thinking about others and keeping ourselves in check; when we desire intimate relationship with our children and grandchildren, we must have very hard and honest conversations; when we have our own business, we must make sure our employees get paid on time and that our customers get what they need in a timely fashion.

 One could imagine the "freedom" experienced by the single, homeless person who has no bills to pay, no other person to worry about and no physical place to clean.  The heavy price, of course, of that sort of freedom is the enormous stress of not knowing where the next meal will come from or how to protect oneself from the elements.  The "enslavement" of the CEO to the company's shareholders and employees is the "freedom" of financial security.

 Perhaps freedom is a matter of merely choosing our form of enslavement, recognizing that we, often if not always, have the ability to choose how and where we want to invest our time, energy and resources.

 If we say that freedom is having a choice, let us examine something else. During the Exodus, it is said that only one fifth of the Israelites left Egypt, and of that twenty percent, most were constantly complaining to Moses, saying “we would have been better off in Egypt, we should have stayed.”  Would you say that these people were free? 

 Perhaps they were enslaved in their own mind, questioning their decision, second-guessing their choice. Is this freedom, or is this a continued enslavement?

 If I make a choice to take a specific job but then constantly complain about the commute, or if I choose to live in a home with the responsibility of family and burdensome finances and constantly complain about my responsibilities with the kids, am I still free within my choices, or am I enslaved by my constant complaints?

 I am coming to realize that ACCEPTANCE is the truest freedom. Having the ability to choose is the first step towards freedom but to remain free, to live in the freedom, we must live in acceptance.  This speaks to the ongoing reflection about the Exodus from Egypt and how we are asked to continually see, each and every year, how we keep ourselves enslaved.

It is the acceptance of what is, the surrender to the choices we made that provide us with the ability to live a complaint-free life, no matter what the circumstances.  It is the ability to look at the choices we have made up to this point and acknowledge them. Perhaps, at one point, while examining these choices we may choose to make a different choice but as long as we have made a choice, we are free when we live in the acceptance of that choice, to rest in it and honor it.

 And so my dear friends,

 The ability to make a choice, to choose what we desire, to work for it, to struggle for it is the first step toward freedom.  The ability to decide what we would like to be enslaved by or deeply committed to is key.  But do not forget that true freedom is ACCEPTING the choices we have made and living harmoniously with all the joys and consequences of those choices.  Freedom is about making peace with where we are, in this moment.

 Ask yourselves:

What life choices were made for you?

What are the choices you have made?

What about those choices that are difficult to live with?

How can you accept the difficulty within the choice?

I bless us all to acknowledge our choices and to find the willingness to accept what is, allowing us to truly live in Freedom.

 Happy Passover!

A freilichen Pessach! (Yiddish)

Chag Somayach! (Hebrew)

Chani

Do you or someone  you know need a place to go for the seder???

We are having an open seder in Fair Lawn NJ on April 14th at 7:00pm.

Please have them contact us at 201-477-0274

Passover begins on the eve of April 14^th 2014.

2013 - Resting: A Tu B'Shvat Reflection

Resting - a Tu B'Shvat Reflection The earth is covered in snow as we prepare to celebrate the New Year for the Trees.  Why now? Why when the trees are bare, the branches without leaves, the flowers hidden from view do we celebrate this holiday?  Last year I had the amazing opportunity to train New York City public school teachers on healthy habits.  One of the most valuable lessons they could pass on to the children, was that the best preparation they could have before a test, is a good night sleep. That in order for our minds to effectively bring forth information, it needs to rest.  This prompted me to look at my own life, to begin to track when I am most productive.  Not when I run around looking busy, but rather when I am truly creative and in the zone.  What I learned is that when I sleep 7 to 8 hours a night, I tend to be more inspired and the gifts that I need to bring forth, come naturally and easily. We live in a ceaseless society of tweets, trends, and tumbles, where productivity is so valued, it may be time for us to take a moment and celebrate the rest that brings forth this harvest.  Trees, much like every other life form, need nourishment, like water to make them grow. Even more so, they need to “sleep” to be more fruitful and to bring forth their very essence. And so on Tu B’shvat, in the depth of winter, we gather together, to celebrate and honor the slumber of the trees, for it is through this deep rest that they will yield sweet fruit in the future. Come Join us as we celebrate together Tu B'shvat this Friday night:

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2013 - The Only Constant Is Change!

The Only Constant Is Change!

Currently, I am standing at the threshold of some major life changes.  In addition to my youngest child graduating from 8^th grade and my eldest going off to Israel, we are moving to a new home.

I am both excited and apprehensive about all these changes. I pride myself with “feeling the fear and doing it anyway.” I am also filled with the sense that I wish life would slow down, just for a moment, for the kids to still be young enough for me to cuddle them, or at least for them not to be towering over me when I try to hug them.  I wish that we could actually enjoy spring before summer shows up, for time to briefly stand still.  I want the familiar, that with which I have become accustomed, to remain the same.

And yet, life always changes, despite my desires for things to stay fixed.  The status quo is never truly the same. What works for us one day doesn’t always work the next. When we think we have all the answers, something or someone shows up and we are forced to question, examine, and wonder if who, what and where we ARE is who, what and where we need to BE.

Every Friday, I have the great privilege of teaching senior citizens who live in a retirement community. My youngest student is an 85 year old woman. These folks are living proof that nothing, absolutely nothing, remains the same.  They tell me stories about their lives, share anecdotes about their youth, adulthood, and beyond.   “Life is always in flux,” they tell me.  “Sometimes we only realize it after the fact, but change is always happening, slowly, under the surface, even when you are not aware of it.”

Some changes, like moving into a new home, we choose deliberately, while others, we simply witness, as when our children grow up and become adults. Either type of change provides us with the opportunity to be consciously engaged in the process.  With all changes, we have the potential to shift, become different and, depending on how we respond to them, we may grow intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. 

What is changing in your life? How do you feel about it?  What remains the same? How do you feel about that?   What are the changes that you are making intentionally? Which changes feel as though they are “happening to” you?

As we step into summer, I bless us all with the Serenity Prayer: Let us accept the things that we cannot change, let us have the courage to change the things that we can, and let us possess the wisdom to know the difference.

2013 - A Rosh Hashanah Reflection

Happy & Healthy New Year: 

A Reflection:

Earlier today I received a blessing in my inbox from Eshel,

an organization that I appreciate and support:

It read: "TODAY NEW WORLDS ARE CONCEIVED, AND LIFE IS PREGNANT WITH POSSIBILITY.  MAY THE SHOFER BLAST STIR US ALL TO GIVE BIRTH TO NEW WORLDS…"

I began to reflect... As we stand at the threshold of the New Year, I keep thinking about all the changes that have transpired in all of our lives throughout this past year.   Many of us have moved, others have stayed where we are, some of us have married, others divorces, many have had children enter the world, and others have begun empty nesting.  Some of us have been diagnosed with an illness, others have been cured, and still others have passed on to the next realm. Some of us have lost parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and most painfully children.

For those of us still here… still breathing…

Life is Pregnant with possibility…

What does this year call you to become?

How do you want to be in this year?

What are you hoping for?

What are you yearning for?

What are you pregnant with?

What are you giving birth too?

And what are you laying to rest?

I would like to wish us all a Healthy and Happy New Year.

A year filled with love, prosperity, joy, and gratitude.

And as the Shofer sounds its yearning, may we connect to 

what is yearning in us to be born.

Chani

2013 - The Masks We Wear - A Purim Reflection

The Masks We Wear - A Purim Reflection:

The Holiday of Purim is upon us and as I watch children, friends and myself try to figure out what to wear for the holiday this year, I am noticing something new.

Growing up, my father always told us that on Purim we see who people really are. He says that we usually dress up in the costume that represents who we want to be for the rest of the year. I believe that on Purim we are given permission to break away from our prescribed roles and express the deep longing of being who we feel we truly are.

The older I get, the less I feel the need to “dress up.” I believe that this is because I have learned to step into who I really am, more and more.  I have found outlets that allow me to creatively express the different sides of myself, permitting me to wear different faces, various masks if you will, so that I no longer burst at the seams waiting for Purim to dress up in a costume to reveal the real person that is concealed within.

I wonder if the costumes we choose to represent us on this holiest day of the year* are simply one aspect of us or does the costume represent our one true self?  Are these masks an expression of that which we truly are or are they who we long to become?

It seems that the masks represent merely a piece of the very complex puzzle that defines us as unique individuals.

 The more I think about this, the more I wonder what we really are. I am reminded of the idea that God knows our face before we are born (Jeremiah 1:5). What, then, is the expression of our true essence?  Are we the person who is dressed up? Are we the mask that we are wearing?

 The more I ponder this, the more I am convinced that in life there is no black and white.  We are neither just the mask we show to the world nor the face underneath it.  It seems that we are both the mask and the face underneath, If we can conceive of this, then maybe we can place ourselves in the space in-between the mask and the face, the being-ness that flows between the different faces we show to the world and the expression of self that we reserve for our family, the face of the inner world that connects with Divinity and the face that most represents the belief we hold about who we really are.

 Perhaps ALL we are is not any one concrete expression of our appearance but rather the fluid ebb and flow of who we are at any given moment, in any situation.

 Please join me in noticing this Purim. Notice what faces we show… the masks we wear… what our private and public expression of self is. Notice how we move between these faces and invite the colors of all that we are into our awareness and out into the world.  Allow the many expressions of ourselves to co-exist and live side by side within us, as us.

*According to many teachings Purim is the holiest day of the year, the day even holier then Yom Kippur.  How do the Rabbis come to that conclusion?Yom Kippur is referred to as Yom Hakippurim.  In Hebrew, the preface Ha =  the and K =  like.  We are saying that Yom Hakipurim is the daythat is LIKE PURIM.Laws for Purim:o   Listen / Read or Chant the Megillah (Story of Esther)o   Giving charityo   Giving food to friends and neighborso   Participating in a MealCustoms of Purim:o   Dressing up in costume.Purim is celebrated this year on the eve of Saturday February 23^rd and all day Sunday, the 24^th. 

2013 - Choice And Service - A Passover Reflection

Choice and Service - A Passover Reflection:

    As we prepare for Passover, a phrase said by Moses numerous times in the text keeps coming up for me.  Moses says in Exodus 7:16 / 7:26 / 8:16 and others, “the Lord said: ‘Let my people go, so that they may worship me.’”

    I am constantly struck by the apparent paradox of this statement.  Let my people go, let them be free, so that they shall worship me, so that they will be in servitude to me. 

    The Hebrew word Avodah can mean worship, service, work, and even prayer, depending on the context.

    Is the Avodah that we ask Pharoah to be freed from the same Avodah that we later choose when we worship the Divine?

    I believe that we use this same energy of service to pray and to fully immerse ourselves into the depth of our longing for Divine Connection.  

    As Passover approaches, I wonder if we are celebrating Freedom as we usually think about it, or are we celebrating the freedom to choose to be in Service to the Divine?

    I have come to realize that in life we are faced with important choices all of the     time. Every time we say “yes” to something, we say “no” to something else.  Every time we say “no” to something, we open the door for a “yes” to follow.

    What if we continuously say “no” to opportunities? What happens then? 

     Do we end up closing ourselves up so much that we have no doorway to walk through?

     There must come a time when we say “yes” to something.  Although we may close ourselves off to everything else, we also can choose to allow ourselves to open fully to something we wish to commit to.  For example, to fully explore the book we are reading, the relationship we are in, the career we have chosen, the children we are raising, the home we are building, or the spiritual path we are practicing, we have to choose to commit ourselves to it.

     In saying “yes,” we become committed to that one thing, and in that commitment we open ourselves to a fuller expression of that path. 

     Even when we choose “not to choose,” we are committing to be non-committal, and that is a stand we are taking in our lives.

     Almost 14 years ago, I was sitting in therapy bemoaning my arranged marriage when my therapist said to me, “Chani, every day that you stay in your marriage, you are choosing not to leave.”

     In that moment, I understood that I was making choices, even when I thought I was not making choices.  I realized that every time we do or don’t do something, we are choosing that to be part of our life. Our choices say “yes” or “no” even when we are silent.

     Moshe understood that as human beings we are constantly making choices and we all serve in one way or another, whether it is for our jobs, our careers, our family, ourselves, or Spirit.

     He said; “Let my people go so that they can serve God.”

     He wanted to give the Israelites the opportunity to serve in a way that was conscious.  When working for Pharaoh, the Israelites had no choice, but after leaving Egypt, Mitzrayim, the “narrow place,” they could step into serving the one they could FREELY CHOOSE to serve with all of the heart.

 When we consider Freedom this Passover, can we consider service?

What is it that you would like to commit yourself to this Passover?

How do you want to pray? 

Whom and What do you want to worship?

What does servitude mean to you?

Chag Somayach (Hebrew)

A kusherin freilichen pessach (Yiddish)

May you be blessed with a meaningful and sweet Passover.

2012 - A Yom Kippur Reflection

For many of us, the most amazing experience of a lifetime is falling in love. But as wonderful as love is, relationships invariably bring complications. Ego gets in the way. We mess up. We hurt each other, even if unintentionally. Inevitably, we need to forgive in order to continue.

So it is in our relationship to the Divine. As much as we try to commit ourselves to Spirit, to our best selves and to the people we love, all of us fall short. This is why there is a Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur is about forgiveness. It is the day set
 aside to give and receive forgiveness from our fellow human beings, from ourselves, and from God. It is also called the Day of Atonement—“at-one-ment,” the day we strive 
to become one with our community, ourselves, and Spirit.

Yom Kippur begins in the evening with Kol Nidre,
 literally “all oaths and promises.” This deeply meditative
 service is built around the theme of the promises we make and then, too often, break. It concludes with a commitment to change.

On this day, we turn inward. We shun physicality and many of us abstain from eating and drinking. Some of us abstain from washing, physical intimacy, even using lotions, wearing leather shoes, make-up, or jewelry. Many of us wear white.

The Rabbis teach us, that regardless of how we choose to observe, what customs and practices we take upon ourselves, the day itself changes us. Simply being in this day, in consciousness, moves us into love, presence and vulnerability. We pray for the ability to accept the human condition—both of ourselves and of our fellow beings—to understand our frailty and our imperfections, to let go of the defenses that stand in our way of becoming at one with all that is.

G'mar Chatima Tova - 

May you have a meaningful fast.

Chani